


Hold Yourself Against Me

by calie15



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Captain America (Movies), Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Developing Relationship, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-30
Updated: 2014-09-29
Packaged: 2018-02-06 19:56:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1870401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/calie15/pseuds/calie15
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jemma finds herself between Bucky and a wall and neither one of them mind it very much.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Jemma found herself pressed against the wall and held her breath. She wasn’t sure which she feared most, the potential for being captured or the exceedingly attractive man pressed against her. She couldn’t concentrate on a mission with a large, hard, manly body crushing her against the wall. When did her type change? When did she go from the intellectual to the gun toting, deadly killer. He wasn’t a bad person, but Jemma heard the rumors, she’d seen it for herself. Bucky Barnes didn’t waste time, if you were a danger you were dead.

Yet here she was forgetting how dangerous he was and instead biting her lip and ignoring the way her body wasreacting. She should have been disgusted with herself, but she wasn’t. Jemma couldn’t be disgusted with the way her palms pressed against his chest. His suit prevented her from feeling the hard, muscle, but she was content with what she was touching at the moment.

He held a gun in one hand near her head, between herself and the direction danger might come from. His right hand remained around her ribs where he had grabbed her before pushing her into a wall.

He was pressed against her and his hand was inches from her breast. She was pathetic. Maybe Skye was right, she needed to get laid.

Even worse was that his eyes didn’t leave hers. He stared down at her the entire time. His breath was calm, but she panted softly, chest rising a falling, pushing hard against his.

Jemma barely knew the man. They’d traded words only a few time. She’d smiled at him like a shy school girl and he barely acknowledged her.

There was a noise and he cocked his gun. Jemma inhaled silently and he turned his head towards the hall they had run from. Without meaning to she released a shaky breath and he turned his head to look down on her again. His face was so close this time that she could smell him, so close that she feared she might have bad breath.

"All clear."

The okay to move came through both their ears. Bucky would step back and Jemma would utter an embarrassed thank you, but nothing happened.

He stared down at her, eyes not straying again. Unconsciously, she licked her lips and immediately regretted it. His hand tightened on her ribs as if in response, not painfully, but it made her curl her fingers into his chest just slightly.

They could move now that everything was clear, go on with her mission, but the object of her pathetic fantasies still had her pinned against a wall and wasn’t moving.

And he was so close. Jemma's brain worked furiously to make sense of the situation as they stared at each other in silence. Eventually she came to the only reasonable conclusion, with danger not eminent he was still pressed against her because he wanted to be there. His lips were so close that she might even think there was a kiss in her near future.

"Simmons."

Jemma silently cursed the voice of Agent Coulson in her ear. At that moment she thought Bucky would pull away, but he didn’t.

"Barnes where is my agent?"

"I’ve got her," Bucky said, his eyes never breaking contact. "She’s fine."

His voice had the ability to send chills through her body. It was low, rough, and sexy, and Jemma could imagine his voice in hear ear as he pressed into her.

"Then let’s go."

He was going to move then, but he didn’t, and for the first time she saw something different in his face. His brow drew together, wrinkling slightly, and his eyes flickered over her face. The thumb which lay beneath her breast, slid over her ribs gently.

Then there was a noise and the spell was broken. Bucky stretched out his cybernetic arm and before Jemma had time to look he maneuvered his body to the side, pulled her with him, and a shot echoed in the complex. Usually she was better prepared for gunfire, but under the circumstances she jumped.

The hand that held her fell away and he was looked down at her again. “Are you okay?”

His honest concern only added another layer to her infatuation. “Yea,” she whispered and nodded. He stared at her a moment longer and then Coulson was in their ear again, demanding to know what was going on.

"Come on," he said and pressed a hand against her back to usher her around the dead body.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Later, after Jemma embarrassingly gave Skye the cliff notes version of what happened, her friend looked at her with a raised eyebrow. “What?” Jemma asked in confusion.

"The first time I caught Bucky Barnes watching you his eyes followed you all the way across the room. That was two months ago."


	2. Chapter 2

Jemma hit the mat with a grunt. With a sigh she rolled onto her back and flopped her arms and legs down and laughed.

"You're laughing."

Jemma looked at the man who had thrown her to the ground. He didn't seem to find the humor in the situation. "Sorry, I can't help it. I'm terrible at this." 

'You need defensive training,' Coulson had said after she'd had a violent encounter. Of course Jemma hadn't expected in a million years that it would be Bucky Barnes. Starting her off with the most dangerous assassin in the world made her nervous. 

'He volunteered,' Coulson had said. 'That's the only thing he has volunteered for that didn't include him killing someone.'

So there she was, sprawled on a mat, panting and sore. "Plus, it's a bit funny, you training me. A bit overkill."

"Not if I can keep you alive."

Jemma glanced at him. He was serious. For a moment she just lay there and sighed. Not only was she in physical pain, but it was at the hands of a man who she suspected might have feelings for her, and the feelings were mutual. Jemma couldn't concentrate when she was constantly in close proximity To Bucky. Training meant touching, a lot.

"Come on," he said and stepped forward, holding out a hand.

Jemma took his right hand and groaned as he pulled her up. She also winced as her cheek stung. When she stood she met his eyes and he was staring at her, brow wrinkled slightly. Then suddenly Bucky stepped forward and raised his left hand, But it stopped inches from her cheek. "What is it?" Jemma asked, her voice soft to her own ears.

He raised it all the way and wiped his thumb over her cheek. I was cool against her skin, but it also hurt the existing bruise. 

"You're bleeding," he said simply and showed her his thumb and the blood coating it. He wiped his thumb on his pants and stepped closer. 

This time he grasped her chin gently with his right hand and tilted her face. Jemma waited with bated breath as he surveyed her cheek. Again he was to close and Jemma had to wonder how they continued to wind up in these situations.

Bucky frowned. "You pulled your stitches. It was my fault, I shouldn't have-."

"It's okay," she told him as she could see him becoming troubled. That last thing that man needed was more guilt. 

With a frown glued on his face he released her chin and lowered his hand. "What happened?"

"What do you mean?" He was still close, invading her personal space.

"To your cheek."

At that she sighed. "Bad guys don't like it when you don't give them what they want. He had a pretty ghastly ring on when he backhanded me."

"I'm sorry," he said, still frowning, but it softened softly.

Jemma laughed, more out of nervousness then anything. "It isn't your fault."

"No, but if I was there I would have put a bullet in his head."

He said it in all seriousness and Jemma knew he meant it. When the former Winter Soldier said he would kill someone he meant it. Jemma smiled. "That's the nicest thing someone's ever said to me," she joked. A part of her meant it in a way, no one had ever said they would kill someone for her. In turn his frown disappeared and for the first time he smiled. Not a full blown smile, but the corner of his mouth lifted slightly.

"Come on, we need to get that taken care of."

Jemma sighed. She hated stitches, especially on her face, but she complied. When Bucky pushed open the door for her she kept her smile to herself. And when he stood in the corner of the medical bay with his arms folded and looking intimidating as they fixed her stitches, Jemma fought a smile.

Later, she told Skye, and her friend didn't bother to hide a grin.


	3. Chapter 3

The thing with her and Bucky was that their moments were few and far between because they always took place in private. Sure, it was just them on the days he trained her, but that had become rare. Bucky was a valuable asset and constantly being used.

The point was, they rarely conversed in front of people.

On the helicarrier she sat strapped in her seat, far away from the other agents. Most of them were field agents, and field agents didn't normally interact with scientists. They saw them as a hindrance on a mission. But when you were going to retrieve a dangerous biochemical virus you sent a biochemist, not a field agent.

Bucky, as usual, sat away from the rest, quiet and intimidating. At some point their eyes finally met, he looked away, and then stood. Jemma was shocked when he sat next to her, not looking at her, not talking, he just sat there, and Jemma waited. Finally, he spoke.

"I don't like this," he said and then looked at her.

Jemma stared at him in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"This mission. I'm not comfortable with it," his eyes searched hers and she never noticed him glance at the scar at her cheek.

Jemma contemplated his concern, because if the most dangerous assassin in the world was worried maybe she should be too. The mission had to be seen through though. They had planned over and over again. "It will be fine," she eventually said and offered him a smile. 

She should have listened.  
\---------

It was just her luck to be on her own running through the forest. The agents with her, they had bern under heavy fire. Jemma forced back her concerns for them as she remembered being told to run and leave them behind. She had to keep it together, she had to get back to the helicarrier with the package.

For a moment she took cover against a tree. Then leaned slowly around it, looking for any sign of their attackers. Jemma clutched her weapon in one hand and the case with the biochemical weapon in another, then she ran. There were voices in the distance, getting closer, and Jemma knew they weren't SHIELD.

It suddenly hit her as she heard shots fire that she wasn't going to make it. She wasn't fast enough, in an unfamiliar area, and outgunned. Then she tripped and fell to the forest floor. Her eyes stung with tears from the pain, but she pushed off the ground and tried to run, only to be grabbed from behind, a shot fired and she jerked forward from some imaginary force and the body behind her inhaled sharply. The familiar cybernetic arm around waist let go and then Bucky's body was gone. Jemma turned in time to see him lift his weapon and fire.

"Hide," he said firmly and raised his weapon.

Jemma snuck behind a tree and crouched. Within moments he fired an array of bullets from an automatic weapon. It was true, Bucky Barnes was a machine. It was so easy for her to forget what he was, but he was a killing machine, armed from head to toe. And he slaughtered every one of their attackers like it was nothing.

Jemma stared from her position at the bodies she could see, unable to move, to shocked. She didn't even see Bucky approach her with his hand held out.

"Are you okay?" he asked as if he hadn't just killed multiple people.

Jemma only nodded and grasped his hand, letting him pull her up.

"Let's go," he said and released her hand.

She complied silently, walking quickly back to the helicarrier, Bucky close to her side the entire time.  
\------------

When they boarded, he set down His weapon and immediately started pulling at his kevlar and Jemma noticed him wince. "What is it?"

"Nothing," he said with his back to her, but his voice strained she saw immediately a hole in the back of his kevlar. Jemma dropped the case to the ground and stepped forward, pressing her fingers gently against the hole. She felt metal and when she pulled it away there was luckily no blood. When he started pushing it off his shoulders she reached up and did the work for him, pulling the heavy leather down his arms. Without a word she pushed his shirt up and stared in relief at his back.

"It's okay," she whispered and lifted a hand to it, but she stopped. "Pull your shirt up."

"It's fine," he said and began to turn.

Jemma grabbed his cybernetic arm without thinking and stopped him. "I'm also a trained medic in the field Bucky. I will tell you if it's fine." For a moment she worried he might resist, but theN grabbed the back of his shirt and pulled it up his back and over his head, letting it remain on his arms.

Gently she pressed against the skin. It was already bruising, but nothing felt wrong, and eventually she sighed. "If you weren't you then you'd have a broken rib."

"I told you I was fine," he said and slid his shirt back on and turned to look down at her. "And I told you I wasn't comfortable with this mission."

Jemma nodded, ignoring the commotion around her. "You did," she admitted softly.

When she told Skye about the mission the next night her friend didn't smile. "Jemma," she said, "didn't you know? He disobeyed orders to go after you. They had insisted your were dead when the communication went down and he went to find you anyway."


	4. Chapter 4

Jemma had been pretty sure that Bucky and she had exceeded the limit of emotional and uncomfortable situations. She was wrong.

She stood at the end of his bed and read over his chart with tears in her eyes. Broken bones, bullet wounds, internal bruising. When she looked up at him she released a shaky breath. It wasn't right seeing him like this. He was strong, invincible. Bucky wasn't supposed to be in an induced coma.

Slowly, she came around his bed and came to stand at his side. With a shaking hand she found his and clutched his warm fingers.

The door opened and she dropped his hand, jumping back nervously. When she looked up there stood Captain America.

"Sorry!" He said quickly and raised his hands in a placating gesture.

Jemma shook her head and forced a smile. "It's okay, I was just leaving."

"Don't leave on my account," Steve said and let the door close behind him. "Bucky doesn't get many visitors, if you know what I mean."

Jemma nodded and looked down at the man they spoke of. Bucky wasn't exactly a friendly guy. 

"I'm Steve."

Jemma looked up and couldn't help a small laugh. "I know." He smiled in return. "I'm Jemma."

"I know," Steve said and frowned slightly. He looked down at Bucky. "I'm glad you're here, it would mean a lot to him, even if he won't admit it."

Jemma stared at Steve Rogers, almost scared to question him. "What do you mean?" She asked hesitantly, but something told her she already knew the answer.

"There aren't many people he cares about," Steve said as he stared down at his friend and then looked up to meet her eyes. "It took me some time to figure out you were one of them."

Jemma looked back down, needing to hide the tears in her eyes. "Bucky doesn't-." Jemma began to lie.

"Yes, he does."

It wasn't fair, not in the least. Why had she let this go on for months and done nothing, said nothing? Now here he was wounded, in an induced coma, and it felt like she might have missed her chance.

"I'll check on him later."

Jemma could only nod. If she spoke the tears in her voice would and she didn't want anyone to know how terribly this was effecting her when Bucky himself didn't even know.

For three days he remained that way, and in the third day they removed the meds and the only answer she received from the doctors was, 'Now we wait.'

Bucky was healing, just as he should have been, but he still hadn't woken.

Every day and night she was visiting his room. Most of the time Steve was there and she couldn't help but be grateful for Bucky. He really did have the best sort of friend.

Early one morning, before she went to her lab, she sat at his side, crossed her arms on the mattress at his side to rest her head. One of her hands sought out his right one and soon she found herself drifting to sleep.

It was the feel of something against her face that woke her. A hand pressed against her cheek and a thumb brushing across it. Jemma opened her eyes and found herself staring up into Bucky's blue ones, but his hand remained. Jemma slid hers over his own, holding it against her cheek, and when she lifted her head she couldn't help but smile at him.


End file.
